My son was exposed to pornography last week. He is ten years old. It happened on a BetterMan trip to Nashville, Tennessee. One evening, Malachi (my son) and I were invited to a dinner where I shared about the state of manhood and how BetterMan is helping men win. I was encouraged as leaders from Vandy, Belmont, Crew, and other schools and ministries weighed in.
A lot of talk was around the effects of pornography—the pervasive use among young men—the soul-crushing impact porn has on one's life. Nearly everyone at the table had a porn story.
[Side note: recently, the University of Toronto commissioned a study to see the effects of pornography use on the male brain. The study never got off the ground. Why? Because they needed a baseline of 20 students who had never watched/used porn. They couldn't find 20 students]
My ten-year-old heard the whole conversation. As we were pulling out of the drive, Malachi looked at me and asked, "Dad, what is porn?" As much as his ten-year-old mind and heart could handle, I explained to him what porn is. He responded, "That's awful..."
Yes, it's awful. Absolutely horrendous.
As we drove off, a feeling of thankfulness rushed over me. I recalled when I was introduced to porn. I was ten years old, and a friend wanted me to come over and see something "really cool..." I still carry the scars today.
Which is why I am thankful. When I was introduced to porn, it was a celebration, "Check this out..." When my son was introduced to porn, it was through devastation, "Turn and run..." He heard story after story about the devastating effects of porn.
My first taste was sweet. His first taste was bitter. I am glad he was on the trip with me. And I hope he never loses that taste.
Here is my hope for you this New Year: the taste of sin in your life is so bitter you can't help but spit it out. The sin you're about to commit is so repulsive you can't swallow. The sin crouching at your door is so disgusting you wouldn't dare go near.
I pray you come to despise the taste of disobedience and sin.
How do you do that? By feasting on something far better. Far more delightful.
Years ago, I had a swingin' tomahawk at Smith & Wollensky's in Boston. To this day, it is the best steak I've ever had. Nothing else compares.
I believe it was Tim Keller who said, "We are exposed to so much brokenness that we must constantly expose our hearts and minds to beauty to heal them..." Keller might have been playing off Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, who wrote, "A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul."
Both men articulate something we repeatedly see in Scripture: the power of beauty. The truth that beauty feeds the soul, and beauty heals the soul.
Brothers, whenever you read something beautiful, see something spectacular, or experience something delightful (like the tomahawk at Wollenskys), you preach a message to your soul. A message that good trumps evil. A message that the light swallows the darkness. A message that King Jesus is making all things new.
Sin's power is that it obliterates our sense of the beautiful. The power of beauty is that it crushes our desire to sin. When we see, and taste, and experience the tomahawk, nothing else will do.
My prayer this year? That we experience the beautiful. We read about Jesus. We see Jesus. And we experience our Savior in new ways this year.
May sin be bitter. And Jesus be sweet.
Here's to seeing the beauty in 2024.
- Harp