A few weeks ago, Usher Raymond IV, affectionately known as Usher, received the Lifetime Achievement Honor at the BET Awards. Rightly so. It’s like Michael Jackson, Boyz II Men, and Stevie Wonder had a baby. Crazy talented.

During his acceptance speech, Usher talked about his biological father...

"I was trying to make sense of this name that a man gave me that didn't stick around because he didn't love me... He made a lot of decisions and a lot of choices, but one that probably hurt and helped me at the same time was to stay away. But that's part of why I saw this as the year of the father, where all the fathers gotta stand up for their sons and daughters and be the man they need to be for them...You gotta be willing to forgive, y'all. He who knows, no sin, cast the first stone. We gotta be willing to forgive; we gotta be willing to be open. I'm telling you, you stand before a man who had to forgive a manwho never showed up, ever..." 

I don't know when, but Usher forgave his dad, the dad who never showed up, ever.

Have you?

Most men carry a father wound. For some, it is a surface wound. For others, it is a deep wound. Surface or deep, most men are wounded. Not destroyed, but wounded. We walk with a limp.

I was recently asked on Moody Radio if, in my travels, I see any warning signs or dangers in the Church today. One came to mind. I told the host that I see a lot of pastors, especially young pastors, men who "preach and teach and lead in such a way to get the affirmation from their congregations that they never got from their dad... and this causes a host of problems..."

After I said it, there were so many responses that they asked me to stay on for the next show.

No one is immune because no dad is perfect [except God the Father].

My friend and pastor Tim Dunn did not have the best family situation growing up. In a moment of vulnerability, he preached about it. This is easily the best sermon I've heard this year and one of the best sermons I've ever heard.

If you grew up shrouded by any amount of hurt and trauma, take some time and watch this. If you know anyone carrying a father wound, send this to them. And remember, forgiveness is the key to freedom. Or, as Twain said, "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Let’s make this the year of dad. 

- Chris Harper


Verses about forgiveness:

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Matthew 18:21-22 - Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Luke 6:37 - “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

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