I have seven kids and they all turned out not perfect but pretty awesome. They love the Lord, have great relationships with me and their mom, and love each other. I get asked a lot, “How did you do it?” My first response is “God is good!” and then “I married really well!”
Both of those are true, but it is also true that I did play a role. What did I do that helped?
Two things:
1. I chose to pursue God.
Now again, not perfectly but I can say I decided early in my marriage I was going to do my best to learn about God and make Him important. We got involved in a local church and I took part in men’s groups and couples small groups with my wife. The church discipled me in my faith.
Pursuing God helped me to be a better father, and it also helped my kids to follow Jesus because they saw in me that I pursued my faith. They say all my mistakes and all my bad habits and all my failures too but through it all they saw me holding onto Jesus and growing.
2. I decided to become a learner about family.
I remember somewhere around the ten-year mark in my marriage and parenting. My girls were growing up, the boys were coming (I have four girls and then three boys) and I realized two things: I loved my kids so much and I didn’t know what I was doing!
I told the Lord, “Lord, I don’t want to lose this game! I don’t even know if I know what winning with my kids looks like, but I know what losing looks like. I can see ahead of me parents with broken kids and broken relationships, and I don’t want that for my family. I want to have 100% success with however many kids I have.”
That desire led me to be a learner about family. You know who I learned the most from about family? My wife. I tell men all the time, “If you will become a student of your wife instead of her critic, you will be amazed what you learn about family.” Our wives are usually better at connecting with our kids, and we can learn valuable tools from them.
How can we be good fathers if we are not willing to learn? I am so glad that I decided to learn all I could about family. I use what I learn every day with my kids and now my grandkids.
Pursue God. Become a learner. If you do those two things consistently, over the years you will become not just a good father, but a great one.
Don Manning is a business owner/investor, CFO of a real estate company and serves on the elder board of Valley Creek Church, a church he and his wife, Suzanne, helped start over 30 years ago. He loves being a husband and father and loves exercise and outdoor activities.He has seven children in age range from 33 to 17. They have stopped having kids of their own but now with four daughters married, they get to enjoy six grandchildren as well. And more to come! Learn more at their website Crazy Cool Family.
