I wasn’t old enough to buy a Guns N’ Roses album in 1987 but I didn’t need to. Their vision pounded out of the T-top Firebird Trans Ams of the bleached blonde mulleted twin Snider boys down the street. Every word, turned all the way up. 

Axl Rose wailed about his habitat, a jungle of hedonistic desire and dog-eat-dog competition. 

This may be the world we woke up in but is this what we were designed for? Is this the best vision of the good life? 

We learn about a creature by observing what it needs to survive or even thrive in a habitat. What do humans need? Air. Water. Food. Shelter. Relationship. Take any one element away and you’ll see a human struggle. 

Relationship? 

Yes, relationship. We’re designed for a relational habitat characterized by deep connection with God, ourselves, and others. This was Eden. Our default setting. 

So how do we build towards our optimal habitat? What are we going to need to thrive? 

You’ll need a daily, emotional encounter with the triune God 

Humans need relationships because we were created in the image of a triune God who is love. God existed since eternity past in a community of love. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have always sought the highest good of one another in relationship. Since we’re created in this image, the quality of our lives is the quality of our relationships. Essential human habitat is built by and for the God who is love. We only love because He first loved us (I John 4:19). You’ll have to emotionally encounter (not just hear about) the love of God in order to become the man you’re designed to be. Why an emotional encounter? Relationships are built on emotion. Drain the honest expression of emotion from any relationship and you have little to no relationship. Drain honest emotion from any “classic” of literature and film and you’ll no longer have a classic.  You’ll have boredom. A lack of resonance, something less true and less durative. There is no replacement for this. This is square one and don’t move on until you’re experiencing God’s love. 

You’ll need to learn to be more present

Society is picking up steam. Since the 1850s, technology has accelerated the pace of life we all experience. German philosopher Hartmut Rosa has observed that acceleration is "shrinking the present." This is problematic as “The Present” is our only opportunity for connecting. We can’t relate in the past or future because God and others aren’t available to us there. The past is fixed, it’s gone. The future isn’t here yet. “The Present Tense” is the continual opportunity we’re given for a relationship. This means if we are to live fully, we must be fully present. This is where your iPhone isn’t helping you. Put it away and be present with the people you’re present to. David Augsburger has observed, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” We could all use more of that in our habitat! 

You’ll need your body 

God designed you with a body, on purpose. He gave you sensory experiences on a tactile terrestrial ball populated with people, places, and things. Technology has introduced a virtual representation of this tactile world, where many of us spend most of our day plugged in. Now the Apple Vision Pro promises to extend this full immersive simulation even to our peripheral vision. Presumably to ensure we don’t get distracted by what’s real. Alan Noble describes the dynamic, “Technology has effectively freed me from any need to belong where my body is. I may have to sleep here, but I don’t have to be here.” Your sensory life (emotions/desires/desperations) is  hardwired into you. Our bodies orient and ground us in a broken world that doesn’t work right. Paying attention to your interior life reveals to us what we need. This internal dashboard helps us discover what we should do next, relationally. Ignoring your body (and your interior life) is like placing duct tape over your car's dashboard—by refusing to see or say what is true, we remain blind and mute and alienated from relationships. 

You’ll need other people

A man alone ain’t got no chance. - Ernest Hemingway

As a man you’ll need intentionally relational spaces to practice your humanity with a few trusted spiritual friends. The simple act of locating yourself emotionally and telling the truth to an empathetic listener who doesn’t leave is regenerative to your brain. I John 1:7a reveals “but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” This practice serves as a bridge to being known, feeling connected, and experiencing the fellowship we were designed for in Eden. 

You’ll need work that matters

You were made to be fruitful and multiply and cultivate the earth. This is done in partnership with God and others for the benefit of others. Your vocation is God’s idea, aligned with your unique design and constellation of experiences for the good of the world. You’ll need to walk with God and others to discover how you’re made and what you’re called for the good of the world. Even your work is best understood as a deeply relational habitat. 

As men we optimize for productivity, achievement and profitability. Your original habitat in Eden reveals we need to optimize for relationship as well. 

“A man alone ain’t got no chance.” 

 

Duke Revard is Co-founder and President of The Eden Project https://www.theedenproject.com/. A serial church planter and entrepreneur, Duke has served in a variety of start-ups as founder, executive, fractional CMO, coach, and consultant. He loves Jesus, his wife and three girls and gives his life to leadership development at the Eden Project.