Being “Mr. Perfect'” is no way to live as a man. And I say that because it seems more than ever, that’s the image of manhood most men feel like they need to live up to.
Consider what Garrison Keillor, one of the great humorists and commentators of our time, has to say…
“Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome. Plato, St. Francis, Michelangelo, Mozart, Leonardo da Vinci, Vince Lombardi, Van Gogh — you don't find guys of that caliber today, and if there are any, they are not painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or composing ‘Don Giovanni’.
“They are trying to be Mr. O.K. Alright, the man who can bake a cherry pie, go play basketball, come home, make melon balls and whip up a great souffle, converse easily about intimate matters, participate in recreational weeping, laugh, hug, be vulnerable, be passionate in a skillful way, and the next day go off and lift them bales into that barge and tote it. A guy who women consider acceptable."
We think we have to be everything to everybody. And that's a terrible way to live.
In fact, I think a much better way to live is “balanced.” That is what the world needs from men today. And as I look to Scripture, I see this balance having four essential expressions: the Four Faces of Manhood, as I call them, and each compliments the other.
Today, I’d like to share about the first Face of Manhood: the Face of the King.
Now, this face doesn't come easily in a man's life. It has to be cultivated over time. And there are many ingredients that go into helping a man put a Face of the King on: his parents, mentors, heroes, stories, and faith persevering through problems. All these come together to forge a rock-solid principle about someone who wears the Face of the King: They love what’s right.
This means, a man wearing the Face of the King…
- chooses what’s right over more comfort or easier circumstances
- doesn’t cheat on a business deal when he gets the chance
- keeps his promise, even when doing so is extremely difficult
- flees sexual temptation
- risks the friendship to tell a brother that his life is out of control
- doesn't waiver, even though he knows there are risks and consequences of standing up for what’s right
- looks like King David, who took responsibility for sleeping with another man’s wife and confessed, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge” (Psalm 51:4).
When I started seminary years ago, finances were running really low and I needed to find a job to stay in school. But finding that job? It was really tough. So I was telling my buddy who had just taken a job in Peru about it, and he said, “Hey listen, I’ve got a great job down here, so let me cover your first semester.” I was so humbled because he’d so graciously offered to cover $2,000 in costs so I could stay in seminary.
As it turned out, just a few days later, my buddy’s boss asked him to sign some papers that would involve bribing government officials so the company could expand their business. So my friend thought about it, took a walk, and came back and told his boss that he wasn’t comfortable signing the papers. His boss told him, “You don’t sign them, you don’t work here.” So my friend didn’t sign the papers, and he got fired that day.
When we talked later, I told my buddy, “Don’t worry about what you promised me. You just take care of yourself.” And he shot back with, “I just looked at my bank account, and I’ve got about $2,000 left. I’m going to send you what I promised.”
That’s the Face of the King — and one I’ll never forget. My buddy was a man who stepped up with enough righteous energy to fulfill his commitments, even when he didn’t have to. It reminds me of Proverbs 4:18, which does a wonderful job of describing this kind of character…
“The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.”
A man with a righteous countenance — the Face of the King — grows stronger throughout life. His light doesn’t fade, but only gets brighter and brighter as the years go on. And by the time you get to be 50, 60, or 70 years old, you won’t compare wealth and houses and cars when you look around you. You’ll compare character, and you’ll rejoice much more about your good name than anything else.
That’s what being a man really means: wearing the Face of the King. It’s having noble character. And it’s something you can do every day as you choose to love what’s right over what’s easier, more convenient, or more popular.
In my next post, I talk about the second Face of Manhood: The Face of the Warrior, and how you can wear it well. I invite you to check it out today.
