A spiritual father is not merely a teacher, mentor, or coach. Their role is uniquely profound, surpassing these other roles. They guide and journey alongside disciples in an unparalleled way. But what does this entail?
A few years ago, I went on a striper fishing tour on Lake Texoma. The experience of encountering a school of stripers was a whirlwind of chaos and exhilaration. Poles, bait, and fish were in a frenzy, creating a scene of wild activity. And let me be clear: I am not the rugged type; nothing about me exudes a Bear Grylls vibe. I would have been utterly lost without Raymond, our seasoned guide.
Gritty and sun-soaked, Raymond didn't just teach, mentor, and coach me that day, he guided me. How to fish, where to fish, and the slightly exaggerated fish stories; at 5AM, Raymond was the first in the boat and the last out of the boat.
I imagine I looked at Ray the same way the disciples looked at Jesus; Jesus didn't just teach, mentor, and coach his disciples, He guided them. Jesus was in the boat. It is like my friend Brett Clemmer says,
"Like a teacher, a guide is prepared; like a mentor, he's experienced; and like a coach, he prepares you for the journey... But what's unique about a guide is that he then goes with you. A spiritual father is not distant, merely pointing out the best path and leaving you to navigate it alone. No, he is there with you, walking the path and sharing your experiences. When you have questions, he's there to answer them. When you face challenges, risks, victories, or unexpected obstacles, he's by your side, experiencing them with you."
Jesus guided His disciples. Paul guided Timothy [and others]. A Spiritual Father guides those under his care.
Discipleship today has a "Go Get 'Em, Tiger" vibe, which is disheartening. Wishing someone the best of luck and giving them an 'atta boy' is not a discipleship strategy.
Brett likens Spiritual Fathering to that of being a mountain guide:
"What can we learn about discipleship from a mountain guide?
Your guide has been there before. You wouldn't want to hire a guy to get you up Mt. Everest who had never been there before. You want someone who knows what it takes. They've stood on the summit and even failed a few times before they got there.
Your guide goes with you on the trip. Climbing Mt. Everest is dangerous. There are ice falls, crevasses, blisteringly cold winds, unpredictable weather conditions, too little oxygen, and a lot of suffering. A good guide experiences every one of those alongside you. He takes the risks you take, suffers what you suffer, and succeeds or fails in the attempt with you.
Your guide tells and shows. A good mountain guide teaches you to do things for yourself by modeling it. He doesn't expect you to read about tying a knot or working an oxygen tank. He shows you how to do it, checks to make sure it's right, over and over, until he's confident you know how to do it. He even teaches you to check his work so that you can protect each other.
Your guide had a guide. No one becomes a guide by studying or by trial and error. A good guide is trained and equipped by a more experienced guide who was trained and equipped by a good guide before him.
If you want to grow in your faith, you need a guide. You can read books, go to classes, listen to sermons, watch YouTube videos, and attend conferences. But the biblical model for discipleship is just what Jesus said: 'Come, follow me' (Mark 1:17)."
I Know the Way…
We need men willing to raise their hand and say, "I know the way." Men will follow you if they think you know the way. They follow Jordan Peterson. They follow Andrew Tate. They believe these men know the way. They don't. King Jesus knows the way—He is "the Way" (Jn. 14:6). Because you follow King Jesus, you can say, "I know the Way."
You have been there. Good marriage. Rough marriage. Broken marriage. You've been there.
Broke. Successful. Discontent. Unfulfilled. Satisfied. You've been there.
Good dad. Bad dad. Step-dad. No dad. You've been there.
Rejected God. Doubted God. Mad at God. Loving God. Obeying God. You've been there.
Years ago, the Church made a significant shift from educational spaces to communal spaces. A new and profound concept infiltrated the Church: Life Groups. With Life Groups came the segregating of people by stage and age [i.e., married/unmarried, kids/no kids, 20s, 30s, 40s, et cetera). Erroneously, we put the 20-year-olds on one side of the church and the 60-year-olds on the other side. We thought by gathering a bunch of 20-year-olds, wisdom and experience would naturally bloom.
It doesn't.
Can younger men lead up? Yes, they can. However, wisdom and experience are often transferred down through the generations, not up. You see this transfer [or lack of transfer] throughout Scripture.
Today, multigenerational discipleship [MGD] is almost nonexistent. We have got to get back to MGD. And it will start with an older generation reaching down into a younger generation, saying, "Follow me; I know the way."
And listen, age is relative. If you are an Alpha, GenZ is old.
If you are GenZ, Millennials are old.
If you are a Millenial, Xers are old.
If you are a Boomer, you're just old. You've got everyone covered.
Riffing with Jesus... and Steve
Steve wanted to learn how to play the guitar. The problem was that he only had enough money for one lesson. So, he found a guide and paid him for one lesson.
Practicing every day, Steve eventually mastered everything he learned in that one lesson: a few beginner's cords.
Soon after, Steve ran an ad in the paper: "Master Beginning Guitar Teacher Looking for Students." Within a few weeks, Steve had 30 students. Every week, Steve sat with his students and showed them what he knew. As he made more money, he took more lessons to share with his students.
You get the point.
You do not have to be perfect. Or famous. Or wealthy. Or have a PhD in Theology. All you have to do is be one step ahead willing to say, "Follow me, I know that Way." Eventually, men will follow.